Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Enjoy the penises
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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