6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
