they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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