I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize