All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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