Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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