im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
