did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
