pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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