take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize