after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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