Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
