Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
