my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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