omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize