Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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