i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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