vagina is talking i cant
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
