apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
