i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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