omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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