I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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