Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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