Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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