Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
