dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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