i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize