I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
