great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
