my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
try to milk me bitch
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
