how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
