How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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