even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
