But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize