Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
