people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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