she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
