I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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