So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
