you have to choose: penises or morals?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
