I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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