ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.