Apparently you make a good broom.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
