he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.