last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
