The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.