I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
