Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
