Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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