btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
