; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize