he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think a kid would responsible me up
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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