You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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