I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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