i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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