im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sry I called you an 8
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
false alarm. still invincible.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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