Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
