you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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