I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
