Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(305): View more from Florida

nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

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(509): View more from Washington

My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(337): View more from Louisiana

I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.

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(415): View more from California

I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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(706): View more from Georgia

All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...

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