U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying