Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm so fucking centered right now
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP