brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.