I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
