Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

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  (302): it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other http://tfl.nu/yidf
  Replies (19) Good night (2504) Bad night (780)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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  (828): i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby http://tfl.nu/ihl1
  Replies (10) Good night (2601) Bad night (724)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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  (970): And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on http://tfl.nu/lu1l
  Replies (18) Good night (7590) Bad night (1288)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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  (812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx
  Replies (28) Good night (8664) Bad night (773)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.

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  (856): this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes. http://tfl.nu/955p
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (3263)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..

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  (952): Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day.. http://tfl.nu/4gef
  Replies (25) Good night (3809) Bad night (1357)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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  (217): What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up http://tfl.nu/ae7w
  Replies (43) Good night (1022) Bad night (6235)
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  (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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  (562): Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser http://tfl.nu/nnjn
  Replies (3) Good night (2263) Bad night (898)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

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  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2319) Bad night (1056)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
  Replies (7) Good night (1619) Bad night (1083)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship

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  (808): I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship http://tfl.nu/z40t
  Replies (4) Good night (1474) Bad night (2044)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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  (347): Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun http://tfl.nu/317f
  Replies (2) Good night (999) Bad night (327)
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  (310): View more from California

  i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now

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  (310): i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now http://tfl.nu/q54p
  Replies (17) Good night (540) Bad night (2215)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.

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  (260): He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him. http://tfl.nu/2xzg
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (601)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (291)

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