if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.