I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
