I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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